• Elite Gentleman

Top 5 Beards


Coming in at number 5, the good the bad and the ugly beard. This beard is good, bad, and ugly but Client Eastwood wears it well. It's short, simple, but also rough and ready to rumble. For a cowboy, what better beard could you ask for.


Coming in at number 4 is Brett Keisel's viking beard. This is an amazing beard. Long, brave, powerful. Keisel is able to draw strength from this beard just like Thor does from his hammer. This beard is meant for the deep winter of the NFL playoffs. Casting fear into the hearts of the opposing team, give this beard a jersey because it's basically the 12th player on the field.


Now this is a beard made for movie stars. Look at the color and length. I almost expect a beard like this to have a mind of its own. Hell this thing could have won its own Oscar. Just think about the steps Mel must have gone through to get to this point. A beard doesn't naturally grow like this. You've got to groom it, nurture it, take it to baseball practice. Really great job Mel.


Coming in at our number 2 beard is Charles Darwin. Now this is what I like to call a beard of knowledge. It's long...too long. It says I've been growing this beard before you were born. Clearly a beard like this assisted Darwin in his numerous inventions and achievements. Amazing how the beard almost merges with the long flowing locks atop his head. Like one continuous stream of knowledge flowing from this man's mind.


Our number one beard goes to good ol' Ab Lincoln. This beard is not only perfect in density and length, it's also just a beard, no fucking mustache. Ab was so dedicated to each of his causes, ending slavery and growing the perfect beard that he literally got rid of the mustache simply to focus on the perfect beard. Oh the things this beard must have seen...