• Elite Gentleman

Top 5 Warriors of all time

Alright so who's the best warrior of all time? Let's count them down...

(Honorable Mention) Sun Tzu - Chinese general

This guy literally wrote The Art of War...Now I wanted to put Sun Tzu as number one on this list, but was he really a warrior? Did he actually fight in the battles? History points to no. Though he might be the greatest military strategist of all time, I can't put him on the top 5 warrior list, so we will add him as an honorable mention.

(Honorable Mention) Sir William Wallace - Scottish Knight

As portrayed by the movie Brave Heart, this guy basically pissed on the English army. With a ragged band of Scotts he was able to fight off the English in numerous battles...before he was drawn and quartered... Hard to make the top 5 when you end your fighting the way this guy did, but still worth an honorable mention as he was a complete badass.

5. Genghis Khan

Great wall? What's so great about it? This guy hopped over the Great Wall of China like it was a youth hurtle in a middle school track meet. He began the Mongol Empire and was the first Great Khan. His empire became the largest contiguous empire in history after his death. This warrior was known for showing no mercy. His battles were much less fights and much more massacres. His brutality could best be summed up in the sacking of Urgench where he ordered his 50,000 men to massacre 1.2 million people in the city. This motherfucker wiped out entire percentage points of the world's population. Genghis was able to advance his conquest by mastering the use of horses in battle. Kind of like the game of thrones khal, this guy was the equivalent to drogo.

4. Alexander the Great

When your name includes the word "Great" its no wonder this guy made the top 5. When arriving on the shores of Persia in 334BC this badass ordered his men to burn the boats... WTF? Only one way home boys, and that's by killing everyone here. This monster was tutored by Aristotle till age 16...yes THE Aristotle. After his dad was assassinated Alexander went on a fucking killing spree, with one goal in mind, conquer to the end of the world. (Yes this is when they still thought the world was flat).

3. Napoleone di Buonaparte

So you're probably thinking, "did this guy even fight in the battles?" The answer is fuck ya he did. Napoleon won his battles by being a complete badass. When his line would break down and the enemy would start gaining the advantage, he was known for charging out in the middle of the battlefield on his white horse slashing down the enemy, inspiring his men to charge in and ultimately win the battle. As the Emperor of the French for a decade between 1804 to 1814, this fucking monster beat the whole world 5 times. Literally all of Europe formed coalitions against this guy trying to take him down. From England to Russia. Napoleon won 5 times expanding his rule to almost all of modern day Europe and the middle east. In the 6th round Napoleon made the mistake of venturing deep into Russia during the winter which is what lands him at our number 3 spot and also landed him in exile... But did he let exile stop him? Fuck no. He came back for round 7, for what is known as the hundred days war, before being exiled again. They just couldn't keep this guy down.

Side note: Napoleon is my favorite military figure of all time. Though Napoleon was the king of France, he was actually Italian. His ancestors were Italian nobility of the Tuscan region and Napoleon was actually born "Napoleone di Buonaparte" which is an Italian spelling. Napoleon later changed his name to "Napoléon Bonaparte" when he was first married at 27. So for all you fucks out there who were thinking oh shit the French people actually have one of the biggest badasses of all time in their history...wrong. The dude was Italian, so chalk another one up for the Italians along with The Pope, Julius Caesar, and Al Capone.

2. Leonidas of Sparta

After the movie 300, this monster needs no introduction. As leader and king of Sparta, the most impressive fighting force in all the worlds history, he achieves our number 2 spot. Legend has it that this guy was a direct descendant of Hercules himself. In the Battle of Thermopylae he was able to defeat the Persian elite fighting force known as "The Immortals" Imagine beating a bunch of warriors known as immortal...guess they weren't immortal after all.

Here's a scene from the movie 300 showing Leonidas kicking some ass

1. Achilles

One of the most legendary warriors of all time, this beast won an epic showdown with the Trojan hero Hector outside the gates of troy. (depicted in the move Troy). Achilles was able to change the course of entire battles single handedly. After countless victories, it became legend that Achilles was invulnerable except for a small spot on his heal which ultimately lead to his death in battle. Yes, his achilles tendon...there is literally a body part named after this dude.

Here's a quick clip from the move Troy where Achilles has a one on one battle with Boagrius to determine an entire battle.